I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize