Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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