I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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