She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize