The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
