Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
