I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I think I have vodka in my lungs
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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