We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize