we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
