Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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