Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
