.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
