i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize