You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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