We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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