There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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