ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
