oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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