I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
