is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
