I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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