just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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