So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
