$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm getting married
To pizza
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
