I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
one two three fourrrrnication!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
