"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
