I am spending my child support on dildos
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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