Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
