First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
