sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
