i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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