I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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