i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
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