you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
