hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
