i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
