Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
