was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
