real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
