I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
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