With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize