You're completely useless in the revolution.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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