I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
