oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
