Yo dont text me then not text me
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
