It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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