Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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