"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he fucked my hip out of place.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
