My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
