ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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