so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
