New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
