you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
