Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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