Sry I called you an 8
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize