You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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