I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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