i permit you to call me
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize
