yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
either way he was missing a nipple.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Randomize