hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
