exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
The best revenge is premature balding
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
