My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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