K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize